More Than Anti
The Possibilities Beyond Resistance
I have recently noticed just how easy it is to define myself by what I oppose, and how hard it can be to name what I am actually for.
The current political climate is a breeding ground for this.
I don’t believe it was always like this for me. I am being gentle with myself. Not judging, just observing with grace and curiosity. The energy of anti feels pervasive at the moment.
As I reflect, I think about the wellness space I have practiced in for so many years.
Anti-stress.
Anti-diet culture.
Anti-striving.
Anti-aging.
Anti-inflammation.
The list is long.
Always something to be against. An enemy to be battling.
This is exhausting to our nervous systems.
One thing I know to be true is that it doesn’t have to be the only option.
There is a life-giving alternative.
It came in an AH-HA moment I recently had.
A professor name-dropped Shawn Ginwright as a side note to a conversation about motivational interviewing in class a while back. I jotted it down.
Being a book lover, I immediately went to my library to see what books he had written.
There I found The Four Pivots, which I began the next day.
So much gold packed into what is heralded as an activist’s guide to social justice through four simple shifts.
First, let me say...
This book is a treasure chest.
Second...
It is a must-read.
I was taking notes, yes… but more than that, my heart, body, and soul were responding.
One of the gifts of returning to school at this stage in life is realizing that education isn’t just training; it is transformation.
Dr. Ginwright argues that we need to be more than anti something.
Being against harm is not the same thing as working toward healing.
I paused reading.
I can so easily name the things I am against these days, but what I am actually committed to creating took a bit more thought.
That surprised me.
It requires self-reflection, clarity, courage, and above all, hope to name with precision what I am actively dedicated to bringing forth in this world.
“The truth is, reflection is tough work because it requires that we all take responsibility in creating the future we want.”
-Shawn A. Ginwright, The Four Pivots: Reimagining Justice, Reimagining Ourselves
To get there, Dr. Ginwright nudged me with three powerful questions:
What can I do?
Who do I need to become?
Who was I?
What can I do?
For me, this is about responsibility.
As I sat with this question, I reflected on my tendency to move into response or action with urgency. Doing as coping.
This doesn’t always reflect authentic action.
I am learning that responsibility is not the same as urgency; sometimes it means slowing down long enough to ensure my actions are in service of a greater good.
Who do I need to become?
This was the question that shifted the ground beneath my feet.
As I sat with it, what came forward was not that I needed to become better.
I need to continue feeling brave enough to be myself.
For me that means committing to reflection and healing, along with a willingness to listen deeply, stay curious, and allow myself to be changed by what I learn from others.
Who was I?
Compassion felt essential as I reflected honestly on this one.
Survival has informed a considerable part of my journey, creating defenses and certainly offering explanation for why it is so easy to define my anti positions.
But as I have learned to orient my life in this way, I can also see how it creates a path toward something with greater traction. Something with deeper meaning.
In this way, I have a guidepost that reminds me where I am going and points the direction toward what I am creating.
One of the gifts of returning to school in the fifth decade of my life is realizing that education isn’t simply training for a job I hope to land after graduation.
It is about something much bigger.
It is about transformation.
I grab these opportunities beyond the classroom where the nectar feels especially juicy and potent.
With these three questions resting on my heart, I notice how I react. I sit with the question of who I am becoming. I honor who I have been.
And I am harnessing the propulsive power of working toward something.
In this journey, I have experienced a moment of remembering.
Even important resistance movements can benefit from a deeper articulation of what we are creating.
There is an invitation in Dr. Ginwright’s wisdom:
If someone took away all your anti positions, what would remain?
For me, the answer became clear.
Laying down my defenses, I came back to the work I have been passionately doing for the last twelve years.
The work that sets my soul on fire.
Facilitating women’s circles and retreats.
Creating spaces for meaningful connection and community.
Cultivating mindfulness practices, curiosity, joy, rest, authenticity, and belonging.
Supporting mental health and nervous system care.
Helping women and girls feel seen, heard, and valued.
Yes, the world is tugging at all of us. There is so much to oppose.
But when I turn down the noise and turn toward what is most alive, I remember that our true nature isn’t resistance as much as it is building and nurturing.
Putting my energy toward what heals, connects, and uplifts feels most vitalizing.
Reflection allowed me to see that Dr. Ginwright’s inspiring book didn’t reveal something entirely new for me.
It gave voice to something I have perhaps been practicing all along.
It stoked a fire that has been quietly burning inside me for quite some time.
While the tug of the world wants me to be drawn into resisting and fighting against all that is wrong, I am discovering that healing asks something more of me.
It asks me to put my energy toward what I am actually for.
I am far less interested in being against what is broken, and more interested in being someone who can live differently inside it.
An Invitation
What anti positions do you find yourself most easily taking these days?
What values guide you most?
Has a book inspired or challenged you lately?
I would love to hear from you in the comments below or via a private message.
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I’m going to think deeply about all of this- thank you for sharing.
I love what you said about education being transformation, not just trainings. I struggled in my 50s so in my 60s I started my PhD, which I just completed at 64. I wanted to grow into myself in my later years, but I didn't have the tools and couldn't find the right resources. I wish I'd had work like yours to read back then. Thanks for sharing this.